Finding Love in Liberia: Ruby's birthday

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Ruby's birthday

Ruby turned 8 years old on the 13th. She had a princess birthday party in the park. Here are some pictures.

Ruby with her friends, Princess Sofia (from school) and Princess Kylah (from Mom's childcare)

Following clues to find the pinata.

Ack! A dragon!

Knight Ethan.

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Education

"Just as eating against one's will is injurious to health, so studying without a liking for it spoils the memory, and it retains nothing it takes in." -Leonardo da Vinci

"It is... nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreak and ruin. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty." -Albert Einstein

"When was the last time you saw a tombstone with SAT scores inscribed on it?" -Edward B. Fiske

"The child who attends public school typically spends approximately 1,100 hours a year there, but only twenty percent of these -- 220 -- are spent, as the educators say, 'on task'. Nearly 900 hours, or eighty percent, are squandered on what are essentially organizational matters." -Homeschooling For Excellence

"My grandmother wanted me to have an education, so she kept me out of school." -Margaret Mead

"I hate, loathe and despise schools....School is bad for you if you have any talent. You should be cultivating that talent in your own particular way." -Maurice Sendak (author of "Where the Wild Things Are")

"Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind." -Plato

"I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays, and have things arranged for them, that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas." -Agatha Christie

Some Guidelines of Positive Parenting

Am I setting them up for success?
- if you can avoid a conflict, DO!
- prevent when possible
- positive actions create positive habits and positive dynamics
- always be open to acceptable compromises, even if not "standard" ways to do things
- try to frame it in playful parenting

Am I making allowances for age appropriate behavior?
- they'll grow out of many 'quirks' naturally

Am I assuming positive intent?
- children are doing the best they can at this point in time
- children are doing the best they can with their current abilities
- children are doing the best they can with their current understandings
- it's not personal. it's not personal. it's not personal.

How can I coach my child?
- we're on the same team!
- be the role model
- GOYB (Get Off Your Butt - actively parent)
- keep tone and attitude positive
- what compromise can we find?

Am I remembering that kids are entitled to their feelings?
- all feelings: happy, sad, excited, angry, scared, excited or whatever
- we help them to express those feelings in a respectful way

It's not my job to keep my child happy.
- it's my job to keep them safe
- it's my job to help them grow into well balanced adults

How can I meet the need, then go back and teach a better way to communicate for next time?
- whining, threats, hitting, etc. are all ways to communicate
- listen for what they're trying to tell you
- respond to the message and coach acceptable verbal communication

Am I connecting before I correct?
- five love languages
- relationship is key
- I can successfully correct, using kindess and firmness

Am I strengthening internal controls?
- teaching to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do
- rules are external, principles are internal
- rules constrain, principles sustain

Would I want to be treated like this?
- what would I feel if I were in their shoes?
- am I parenting with respect and positive intent?
- take individual personality traits into consideration

Always remember every time is a time for love and connection.
- do my children know that I always love them?
- am I setting a good example?