Finding Love in Liberia: She's got it all planned out

Thursday, January 19, 2012

She's got it all planned out

Ruby says she's going to have a whole bunch of kids when she grows up. They are all going to be adopted - from China. Some of their names are going to be, Diamond, Sparkle, Cupcake, and Julia. :)

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Education

"Just as eating against one's will is injurious to health, so studying without a liking for it spoils the memory, and it retains nothing it takes in." -Leonardo da Vinci

"It is... nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wreak and ruin. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty." -Albert Einstein

"When was the last time you saw a tombstone with SAT scores inscribed on it?" -Edward B. Fiske

"The child who attends public school typically spends approximately 1,100 hours a year there, but only twenty percent of these -- 220 -- are spent, as the educators say, 'on task'. Nearly 900 hours, or eighty percent, are squandered on what are essentially organizational matters." -Homeschooling For Excellence

"My grandmother wanted me to have an education, so she kept me out of school." -Margaret Mead

"I hate, loathe and despise schools....School is bad for you if you have any talent. You should be cultivating that talent in your own particular way." -Maurice Sendak (author of "Where the Wild Things Are")

"Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind." -Plato

"I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays, and have things arranged for them, that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas." -Agatha Christie

Some Guidelines of Positive Parenting

Am I setting them up for success?
- if you can avoid a conflict, DO!
- prevent when possible
- positive actions create positive habits and positive dynamics
- always be open to acceptable compromises, even if not "standard" ways to do things
- try to frame it in playful parenting

Am I making allowances for age appropriate behavior?
- they'll grow out of many 'quirks' naturally

Am I assuming positive intent?
- children are doing the best they can at this point in time
- children are doing the best they can with their current abilities
- children are doing the best they can with their current understandings
- it's not personal. it's not personal. it's not personal.

How can I coach my child?
- we're on the same team!
- be the role model
- GOYB (Get Off Your Butt - actively parent)
- keep tone and attitude positive
- what compromise can we find?

Am I remembering that kids are entitled to their feelings?
- all feelings: happy, sad, excited, angry, scared, excited or whatever
- we help them to express those feelings in a respectful way

It's not my job to keep my child happy.
- it's my job to keep them safe
- it's my job to help them grow into well balanced adults

How can I meet the need, then go back and teach a better way to communicate for next time?
- whining, threats, hitting, etc. are all ways to communicate
- listen for what they're trying to tell you
- respond to the message and coach acceptable verbal communication

Am I connecting before I correct?
- five love languages
- relationship is key
- I can successfully correct, using kindess and firmness

Am I strengthening internal controls?
- teaching to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do
- rules are external, principles are internal
- rules constrain, principles sustain

Would I want to be treated like this?
- what would I feel if I were in their shoes?
- am I parenting with respect and positive intent?
- take individual personality traits into consideration

Always remember every time is a time for love and connection.
- do my children know that I always love them?
- am I setting a good example?