Finding Love in Liberia

She's got it all planned out

2012-01-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

Ruby says she's going to have a whole bunch of kids when she grows up. They are all going to be adopted - from China. Some of their names are going to be, Diamond, Sparkle, Cupcake, and Julia. :)

2012-01-05T09:58:00.000-08:00

Wow, I felt claustrophobic watching this video, but I like this woman's attitude and it helps to put things in perspective.

I'm all about New Year's resolutions this year. (The new year just happened to coincide with some changes I was already making). With the help of Flylady, I'm making some new morning and evening routines for myself and the kids. I'm also cracking down on the budget, and determining to get rid of a bunch of our excess stuff.

School starts again next week after a long winter break. It's been such a nice break, but we're all looking forward to getting back to school. My mom is going to attend a few of the classes with the kids. I'm SO glad for her help! :) (I occasionally read about families with 9 or 10 or more kids and I'm impressed and envious and overwhelmed all at the same time. I couldn't even manage with these five, if it weren't for my amazing hubby and supportive family. How do those women do it?)

Anyway, we've had some really nice holidays. Thanksgiving was really fun and special. Christmas was a little disappointing (Claire and Donnie were sick.) New Years was really fun, and kind of like a second chance at Christmas, 'cause everyone came over. :)

I'm happy to be in a new year! :)

Another kind of adoption

2011-12-23T21:35:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of embryo adoption? So cool! So many frozen embryos, waiting for a chance to live... so many mothers waiting for a chance to give birth to a baby. Miracles Waiting makes it happen.

checking in...

2011-11-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

We had cameras in our school last week for a documentary about homeschooling. :) The documentary is called Class Dismissed, and I can't wait to see it!

Soccer season has finally come to an end. It was a great season - the twins' team was (unofficially) undefeated. We're not supposed to be keeping score at this age, but, well, we did. And we won. Every time. :) We're having a little pizza/trophy party tonight. The kids are so excited.
I'm actually kinda relieved the season is over. I'm SO not a sports person. Even with my own kids out there on the field, I couldn't keep my attention on the game. When I watch sports, I feel like I have ADD because everything else catches my attention and I forget to watch the game. My mom would say, "Did we just score?" Oops. Wasn't watching - even though she told me to watch and my own kids are on the field. Ugh.

Let's see, what else...Ivy is still super-duper cute and sweet and easy-going, Claire is still hilarious and darling and occasionally challenging...Ruby is doing great, loving school, has a super-tight best friend who is just the sweetest...Lily is funny as ever, and has discovered a new love of piano-playing and song-writing...Reid is still my darling, sweet guy who loves life. :)

School and baby update

2011-09-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

Wow, I am so impressed with the classes my kids are taking at school! Wow, wow, wow. We have such talented teachers, such great parents, and just a great system there. I love walking the halls and seeing all the little kids, middle-size kids and teenagers intermingling with respect and kindness. I love seeing all the moms nursing babies alongside their learners or assisting with art projects or sitting on the grass picnicking with their children between classes.
I'm so glad for the enthusiasm my kids have for all their classes. Their eagerness to learn is palpable. The other day, we went outside to look for a friend. Lily got confused and thought we were going to the car. When I turned back to go inside, explaining we had one class left, she whooped for joy. :)
In their Chinese class, we're all learning the language together, and it's such a fun class. In music, I'm also learning right alongside them, as I know so little about music. The folksongs we're learning get stuck in my head and we all sing them in the car on the way home. In Magic Tree House, we read the books together and when questions come up about the time period or the facts in the book, we look up the information so we can learn more. Their curiosity and interest is contagious. It's just such a great life I'm living right now! I love this. :)

Sweet Baby Ivy is growing and developing like crazy and I'm convinced she'll be walking by 9 months. This baby is never content sitting on her bum. She crawls all over the place, pulls up on everything, and constantly surprises me with the things she can do. She's still incredibly sweet, easy-going, and happy. We are all head-over-heels for her. Claire thinks she's Ivy's second mother. She thinks she's being so helpful when she comes over and picks up the baby and carries her across the room, or holds the baby in her lap, not letting her go. Although it's adorable, it's not so helpful, and Ivy doesn't appreciate it. :)

Doubly cute

2011-08-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

Photo by Michelle

It's almost too much to take. I mean, really.

Ivy Mae

2011-08-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

Photo by Michelle

Boy do we love this baby. She's just amazing. :)
Lily is reading this over my shoulder, and wants me to add: "And she's REALLY cute!" :)

School

2011-08-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

I thought this article was interesting. I don't consider myself to be an unschooler, but do agree with and follow many pieces of that philosophy.

This summer has been so enjoyable. The kids have spent hours upon hours of playing - with each other, cousins, and friends at Mama's house. We've gone to a bunch of the dollar kid movies, taken part in some free church carnival-type things, went to Oaks Amusement Park, bowling...the twins are taking a soccer class at the rec center and are now on a soccer team that Tom and Donnie are coaching together. They all still do an hour of gymnastics each week, and it's so exciting to see the improvement in both strength and technique, as they've been taking this class almost a year now, and have come SO far. Ruby, who had to re-learn how to walk at age 4, and has always been noticeably weaker than her peers, now does cartwheels all over the place and can occasionally beat Lily in a race! Her legs even have a little bit of shape to them. :)

We've signed up for this year's courses at school, and we're so excited about them!
Our school classes are as follows: (The kids picked out all of their classes, very enthusiastically.) :)

A language/culture class that covers one language/culture each term - Chinese, French, and Spanish. A blurb from the course description: "In addition to linguistic instruction learners will be introduced to the beliefs, habits, and worldviews of each culture. We will utilize music, stories, and food from these societies to give a fuller, richer cultural experience."
A music class (so important to be introduced to, but I don't have much knowledge about, myself). A blurb about the class: "(1) Developing singing voices and matching pitch (2) Playing/notating rhythms (3) Identifying notes on the staff and playing them on glockenspiels (4) Creating our own music and (5) Learning musical terminology (dynamics, tempo, symbols, etc.)"
A math-ish class called Detective Agency, that sounds exactly like what my kids are really into right now. Here's the course description: "Be a detective as we explore word and number puzzles, brainteasers, and unlock secret codes together. We'll spend some time looking at clues up close with magnifiers. We'll also read stories about detectives and solve mysteries as a group. There will be lots of detective work in this problem-solving time together!" Wow! They're going to love this class, if it's even half as fun as it sounds. They love this stuff. (And I was recently reading about how good all those brain-teaser things are for little brains.)
A class called Magic Tree House, using the popular book series as a spring-board for studying history. One book per week is read at home, then an aspect of the book is explored in class, including a little vocabulary lesson. We already own a bunch of these books and the kids love them.
A math course called Measure for Treasure. We know the instructor for this one and like her a lot. (The rest of the instructors are new to us.) A blurb about the class: "We will use a variety of measuring systems and tools to estimate, investigate, and calculate the world around us. Included: length and area, volume and mass, time and temperature, money and comparisons galore."
A science class that studies meteorology, paleontology, and oceanography (one subject per term). A blurb from the course description says, "...a science class that uses hands-on activities and literature and art to explore scientific principles and concepts." This class has the same instructor as the Measure for Treasure class, so I'm hoping for good things from it, as well.

The rest of the classes they're taking are: TaeKwonDo, Lego Club, Wacky Wednesdays (a fun, hodge-podge of different activities), Folk Tales from Around the World (studying culture through folk tales), and finally, Bananagrams, Cribbage and Cards (pretty self-explanatory.)

Oh, and Claire and I are also taking a cute little Toddler Time class.

This is a much heavier time-commitment than last year. 11 hours of classes, instead of last year's 4 hours per week. We'll also still be involved in soccer and gymnastics, and will be joining the children's choir at church. Looking at this fall's schedule, it feels like such a busy schedule! It's more than we've ever taken on before, as far as scheduled time. Still, it's less than most school kids spend out of the home. We have no classes Mondays or Fridays, so we can take it easy those days. :)

Our computer isn't working right now,which is why I haven't posted pictures lately, but believe me when I tell you that Ivy is the cutest little thing you've ever seen. Oh my goodness, I can't get enough of this baby. None of us can. She's so sweet, incredibly easy-going, and ridiculously kissable. She's amazing. Amazing! She's now sitting up and also scooting around. She made it part-way down the hallway yesterday. She chews on her arm or finger almost constantly, and I never thought that would be so cute, but on her, it's adorable. :) We LOVE this baby!

Worth a read

2011-08-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite blogs.

Potty-trained

2011-07-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

Claire Bear has recently potty-trained herself. :) A couple weeks ago, she decided she was done with diapers and asked to wear panties. So I put some cute panties on her and told her not to pee-pee in them, and, well, she didn't! I tried to put her on the potty every couple hours, and it went fine. The next day, she chose panties again. She did have a couple accidents that day, but continued choosing panties every day, and hasn't had an accident in days now. She even stays dry during the night. Last night, I didn't even put a diaper on her.

FYI

2011-07-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

As much as we would still LOVE to adopt another child, it's just not possible right now. We've run into obstacle after obstacle and we've decided to put the pursuit on hold indefinitely. Some very generous people donated some money to us for our adoption, and although we did spend that money on the homestudy, I believe we owe it to the institutionalized children for that money to go towards actually bringing them home. So, I sent a check to Reece's Rainbow for part of the amount we received in donations, and will continue sending checks for the next few months until I've sent the entire $900 that was donated to us.

2011-07-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

When Ivy was born, I refused the Hep B vaccine that they routinely give in the hospital. My reasons were two-fold - first, I thought it unnecessary. How would my newborn baby possibly contract Hep B, which is passed by blood or sex? Secondly, I didn't want one of my newborn baby's first experiences to be a painful vaccine. (I had also refused the vaccine with Claire, and wish I'd been more knowledgeable and stronger in my convictions when the twins were born.)
So when the nurse came in to get a little blood for the newborn screen, I was a little hesitant, because once again, it's causing pain to my precious baby, less than 24 hours after birth. So I asked the nurse if I could at least nurse her while she pricked her heel and squeezed the blood out. The nurse looked at me, surprised by my request, and then said, "Uh, well, I guess that would be okay." I said that I'd read that nursing helps with pain management for infants. She said she'd read that, too, and thought it was a good idea, but admitted she'd never been asked that before. I still can't believe it, especially knowing the area I live in - we tend to be very crunchy here.
So when I read this blog post, it reminded me of my experience. I thought I must have sounded silly when I explained to the doctor that it seemed cruel to subject a baby to unnecessary pain so soon after birth. But if I had it to do over, I would have refused the vaccine at the 2 week visit, as well. (Unless someone can explain to me how my 2-week old could be at risk of contracting Hep B.)

Ruby's birthday

2011-06-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

Ruby turned 8 years old on the 13th. She had a princess birthday party in the park. Here are some pictures.

Ruby with her friends, Princess Sofia (from school) and Princess Kylah (from Mom's childcare)

Following clues to find the pinata.

Ack! A dragon!

Knight Ethan.

Pictures

2011-06-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

I forgot to post pictures of our chick and Claire's birthday, so here they are... :)
(We studied the life cycle of a chicken and incubated eggs. The incubators were cheap and the temperature was difficult to keep steady, so only one chick lived.)

We brought the chick to Mom's house.

For Claire's 2nd birthday, we just had a little party in Mom's front yard. :) We played...

ring around the rosie

duck-duck-goose

and Simon Says

and we had banana muffins

Beach trip

2011-06-22T14:06:00.000-07:00

Mom's girls (from childcare) are here visiting from Montana, so we all took a beach trip with the girls and the boys and a bunch of cousins. Unfortunately, all the men had to work, so it was just us 4 ladies and 13 kids. We had SO much fun!These two were inseparable and oh, so cute! Claire copies everything Ethan does and thinks he's just the coolest.

Reid and Ivy

2011-06-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

These are kinda old, but I just found them on my camera. This little photo-shoot was Reid's idea.

And then he wanted me to take a picture of him "sleeping." :)

Star Wars birthday party

2011-06-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

Michelle sent me a whole bunch of pictures from the twins' birthday party, so here are a few...

The Storm Trooper is the birthday girl. :)

It would have been perfect if she'd been Princess Leia, since Reid is Luke, but this is Lily we're talking about, so of course she had to be a Storm Trooper. :)

Two Princess Leias

Collecting meteors

Opening the meteors to discover intergalactic treats

And now for some super-charged cuteness...

Claire trying out Big Brother's new scooter

Beautiful Mia

Claire's first dentist appointment

2011-06-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

Claire Bear (who turns two next week!) had her first dentist appointment today. She was SO cute and cooperative. It went really well. The big kids stayed at Mama's house while we went to the appointment. Throughout the day, as she's been telling people about her dentist visit, she's recalled so many details. It was really cool. I want to write them down so I don't forget. Here are some of the things she said,
She told Mama, "Brush teeth!" and, "Bag in car." I said, "Yes, Claire got a bag of goodies from the dentist today. It's still in the car."
I was helping her tell her siblings about her dentist visit, so I was saying, "Claire went to the dentist today" She said, "And brush teeth" "Yes, the dentist brushed her teeth," "And door!" "And we went in the elevator and the door opened when Claire pushed the button." "And Mommy up." "And when Claire was scared to walk over the crack at the bottom of the elevator, Mommy picked her up." "And kiss." "Yes, the dentist told Claire to kiss the suction tube."
Then at home, as we were going through the bag of goodies with Daddy, we pulled out her toothpaste and she said, "Towel." "Yes, at the dentist they spread the toothpaste on a little towel and dip the toothbrush in it."
I love this little cutie-pie. :)

Gardening Class

2011-06-01T13:55:00.000-07:00

The kids are taking a gardening class right now, and they absolutely love it! Here are some pictures.

A mouthful of spinach :)

2011-06-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

This is really the only picture I found from the twins' birthday party. (Michelle, you have more, right?)
My mom worked so hard putting this party together, with great Star Wars costumes, games and snacks. :) It was so much fun.

Pictures

2011-06-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

Hahahahaha! Is that freaky, or what? Here are some pictures from Joshua's birthday party. (I haven't found the pics from the twins' birthday party yet.)

Fighting The Penguin

Ivy

2011-05-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

My babies

2011-05-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

My twins are 6!

2011-05-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Michelle took these pictures of my twinsies yesterday on their 6th birthday! :) My mom put on a party for them today. A bunch of friends came over and we had a Star Wars party. It was really fun. :)
Faith left me a comment asking for updates. :) You're so sweet, Faith. I forget anyone ever reads this blog. We've actually had a pretty awful month. I'm happy to say we're now on the other side of the ugliness, but it was one of the most stressful, awful times of my life. From it, a lot of good has come, though, and I honestly can say that I'm thankful for it, because we're doing better now than ever. Nothing like dangling off the edge of a cliff to make you appreciate life! :)
Ivy is so mellow and sweet! She smiles easily, loves her big brother and sisters, and is absolutely doted on. :) Claire has adjusted well to not being the baby anymore. She's as big an Ivy fan as the rest of us. The only drawback has been that she wants to nurse a lot more often. I think I'm going to start moo-ing pretty soon. :)
Having five kids is great! I love seeing five car seats in the back of the van. I love watching them play together and love on each other. Each of them is so special and adds so much to our family. We're already in love with Ivy's little personality, wondering how we ever lived without her, and Claire, oh my gosh, she's just the cutest little thing! The big kids impress me all the time. They're getting funnier, more mature, more compassionate, thinking so deeply, being so responsible... I'm so lucky to have such terrific kids! On one hand, it makes me wonder how much we'd be missing if we decided to say 5 kids is enough. Whose amazing little personality would we be missing out on? What joy and love would we miss? On the other hand, life with a baby is kinda hard! Especially two babies. (I still sorta consider Claire a baby.) How cool would it be to have only big kids - not having to worry about the baby crying on a long car ride, diaper changes, nap time... How free we would be to go exploring, be spontaneous! :) Who knows what the future holds. All I know for sure is, I am so blessed! :)
Okay, I'm going to help Donnie clean up after the party now... :) I'll try to post again soon.

Ivy

2011-03-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

Baby Ivy got her tongue tie clipped last week. The doctors kind of left the decision up to me - they said if it's not interfering with nursing, it could wait. But because it's less traumatic to do it right now, and because of the possibility of it interfering with speech, I decided to do it. It was quick, and she really didn't cry much, and now her tongue can move so much more, so I'm happy with the decision.
Baby Ivy is fitting in seamlessly. She gets so many hugs and kisses and songs sung to her. She's loved and adored.
Ivy is a pretty easy-going baby. She's so much easier than Claire was! Even easier than the twins, I think. They weren't difficult, but I think Ivy is easier. I'm much less stressed than I was when Claire was tiny. (She wore me out!)
Some pictures by Michelle...

One week old

2011-02-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

Donnie went back to work today. He didn't want to go. I didn't want him to leave, either. It's been a crazy week, with two kids coming down with a stomach virus, sleep deprivation, and juggling two nursing babes. But we have been made so deeply aware, with the birth of this precious baby, how incredibly blessed we are. We were driving home from church yesterday, with our van filled to capacity with car seats, and marveling at the view from the rear-view mirror. We can't believe this is the life we get to live! Amazing. :)

The kids are SO in love! :) Reid might be obsessed. He keeps saying how lucky we are to have a baby. The girls love to hold her. All three girls. :) Claire cheers when she sees Ivy in the morning. She's such a little celebrity.

Okay, now for the gorgeous newborn pictures! I am so excited about these!!! We've never done newborn photos before, and I am so happy to have such gorgeous pictures of this baby. Somehow, in addition to raising a beautiful family, getting his Master's degree, and making huge strides in his career, my little brother has become quite a talented photographer. (More of his photography can be seen on his website: ericjmarshall.com.) On Saturday, Ivy and I had a photo session with Eric. Here are a few of my favorites.

Here's a picture of Donnie as a newborn, and Ivy at 6 days. I think she looks a lot like him. :)

Introducing Ivy Mae

2011-02-23T12:27:00.000-08:00

Yay!!! We have a baby!!! :)

Ivy Mae was born on Sunday, February 20 at 9:05 am. She weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz.
On Saturday, Mom and I were grocery shopping, and I was having some mild contractions, but I could already tell they were a little different. When I got home that afternoon, they lessened, and maybe even went away until a little later that evening, when they started up again, still really mild, but different, and they were pretty consistently coming about every 10 minutes. We had a relaxing evening and even tried to go to bed, but we were excited/anxious and had trouble falling asleep. I got back up and came out to the computer to distract myself.
Anyway, the contractions kept coming, increasing in frequency, and slowly getting a little stronger and a little stronger as the night went on. I went around the house, getting stuff ready, changing all the kids into clean jammies, and taking a shower. I called the hospital and told them we were coming, called my mom, woke up Donnie, and then called Michelle. Donnie took a quick shower, carried all the stuff I'd gathered and the kids to the car, and we took off. That was a little after 2 am. The kids were SO excited! I thought they'd fall back asleep in the car, but they loved the excitement of it all and couldn't wait to meet the new baby. Mom and Tom met us at the hospital and helped us and all the kids inside. Michelle arrived shortly afterward.

Michelle is reading Reid's new Science book to him. He wants to be a scientist when he grows up and is crazy about this new book (from Mama for Valentine's Day). Michelle is wearing Claire on her back while Papa holds Baby Mia. Claire was eating a banana on Auntie's back and got mushed banana all over Michelle's black shirt. We got to make fun of Michelle all night for her messy shirt.

Claire got pretty good at taking pictures of herself on Mama's phone.

The hospital was really busy. They almost didn't have a bed for us. One woman even had a baby in the hallway! Because of that, they didn't have the birthing tub ready for me, so I labored for a few hours in the little tub in the bathroom. The kids all took turns joining me. :)

We actually had a really nice time those first few hours, hanging out, joking around, my whole family around me. We didn't see much of the nurses or midwives, because they were so swamped. I kept joking that we'd be having this baby by ourselves.
I eventually tired of the tub and opted for pacing the room or lying down in bed. We discovered that it helped tremendously for Donnie to rub my lower back during contractions. As soon as we figured that out, I didn't go through another contraction without him.

I had such a great support team!

Reid was worried for me, so he helped me get through those last contractions with his sweet, sweet hugs. (See the phone in Mom's hand? I bet Claire took that pic of herself.)

The girls took comfort in each other and cuddled together right before Ivy was born

As things ramped up, Claire got a little concerned, so Michelle took her out of the room to stay with Papa. Reid also chose to leave.
When it came time to push, I didn't want to get on the bed, so the midwives gathered towels and pillows and placed them on the floor under me, where I got down on the floor and gave birth right there beside the bed. :)
They caught her, and then immediately handed her to me. I was wearing a hospital gown, but my first instinct was to rip it off and hold my baby against my skin. She felt SO good. She was perfect. She had a bunch of reddish hair, a loud yell, and a slippery, beautiful little body.
I got up on the bed and held my baby. They let me hold her and feed her for a long time before they finally took her and weighed her.

She pooped all over the both of us while I was holding her, so she's a little poopy in her weight pictures.

When Reid and Claire came back in the room, I was nursing Ivy, and Claire saw her, and said, "Ivy yah-yah" (yah-yah is Claire's word for nursing). I thought she would ask to nurse too, but she didn't. She was content to just look at the baby.
Mom and Tom took the four older ones home with them later that day. I cried my eyes out, after saying goodbye to them. Mom said Claire did great without me that night, never asking for me, just mentioning once, "Mommy bye-bye." We'd talked to her a lot about what was going to happen, and she's very close to her Mama and Papa, so I think it was more difficult for me than for her. :)

Eric and Lacey and the boys came by later that afternoon, and Eric took these beautiful black and white pictures.
We got out of the hospital around noon the next day. The kids were SO excited to go home with their new baby. They love her, love her, love her. This morning, on the way to school, Ivy was fussing in her car seat and the three big kids started singing to her all the songs that used to cheer up Claire when she was a fussy baby. They are terrific big siblings. Claire and I have been figuring out the tandem-nursing dance, when she wants to nurse at the same time as Ivy (and when isn't Ivy nursing? This baby is addicted!). So far, it's going pretty well.
Ivy has a bit of a tongue-tie. She doesn't have trouble nursing, but they said it could interfere with speech later on, so we'll have to have the doctor look at that.

2011-02-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

In case anyone was wondering... still nothing. But the good news is that Mom and Tom are HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really, really wanted my mommy here for this birth, and now she can be. I'm kinda hoping for Sunday, 'cause it's convenient and I like the number 20 better than 19. Or, 2/21/11 would be a cool date. 2/22/11 is cool too. So... whenever. We're ready.

Happy Due Date to me!

2011-02-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

Today is Baby's due date, but I have a feeling she's not going to make her appearance just yet. I'm actually hoping she's hold off and come this weekend, when it would be much more convenient. :)
We packed the kids' backpacks last night for the hospital and for their nights away from home. Now it's real for them and they're beyond excited! They can't WAIT to go to the hospital and meet their new baby sister. :)

Kids Aren't Cars

2011-02-05T21:55:00.000-08:00

KidsAren'tCars.com

2011-02-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

Poor neglected bloggy. :)
So... we've got a baby coming in a couple weeks! We're so excited!
Sadly, my mom and Tom are deserting me in my time of need, heading off to warm, sunny Arizona for a little R & R during the week that the baby is due! I guess once you have umpteen grandkids, one more is "just a drop in the bucket" as my mom likes to say to annoy us during a game of Monopoly.
Actually, Mom has agonized over this trip that Tom won at work. I'm super excited for them, and crossing my fingers that baby will be late so Mom can be here and help out with the kids. Otherwise, Michelle is more than willing to let us double her household size with our brood. :) The only thing I'm worried about is Claire, who's still co-sleeping and nursing. Fortunately, Claire and Michelle have a special bond, and Claire seems to think she's Michelle's third child. Lacey, my sis-in-law, has also offered to drive up and help out wherever possible. So it should all go fine, whenever Baby chooses to arrive. :) (I love my family!)
That reminds me, once Baby arrives - I'll be tandem nursing. It's a whole new world for me. I have trouble imagining how it will all work out, but I'm confident that it will.
Donnie and I took a class last night on waterbirth! :) We're all signed up and ready! Woo-hoo!

In other news, school is going great - both our classes and our home curriculum. I can see the kids' progress all the time and it's so encouraging!

Paying the ransom

2011-01-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

So worth it.

Christmas and New Year

2011-01-01T10:26:00.000-08:00

We had SUCH a nice Christmas. It was a great day, filled with family and food and gifts...
This year, the kids were much more excited about the gifts than they have been in years past. Ruby kept talking about how she looked forward to Christmas because then she'd get presents, and all three of them kept saying, "I want THAT for Christmas!" about everything they saw!!! It was driving me crazy.
Then, the night before Christmas, as we were coming home from Christmas Eve services, I had a knot in my stomach, worried that they would be disappointed in their gifts. Suddenly, all my frustration over their materialism transformed into worry that reality wouldn't live up to their expectations. All I had for them to open on Christmas Eve was bathrobes. And for Christmas morning, all I had was a Barbie make-up kit for Ruby and Build-A-Bear gift cards for the twins. (Ruby got to go to Build-A-Bear a couple years ago, and the twins have been asking when it will be their turn - but a gift card is not that exciting to open.)
They were SO cute though, opening their bathrobes. They each jumped up and gave us hugs! "Thank you, Mommy! Thank you, Daddy!" It was so, so cute. On Christmas morning, they woke us around 7:30 and asked if they could get their stockings down. We came out and watched them open their stockings, which was equally adorable... and kept them entertained for the next five hours. They did not ask to open any gifts!
When my family arrived in the afternoon, they brought the real gifts - a microscope, a Leapster, and a Barbie laptop from Mama and Papa, Pillow Pets from Auntie and Uncle, and Princess Barbie dolls and Toy Story figurines from Aunt Lacey and Uncle Eric. And then they finally opened our gift cards and make-up kit, and they were SO appreciative and excited. Cute, cute stuff.

Donnie and I took the twins out to spend their gift cards last night while the other two had fun at Mama and Papa's house. Wow... spending $40 on a stuffed animal, completely of their choosing is really hard for me. Reid's has Peace signs all over it, and pink feet. He has red basketball shoes and a police uniform, and his name is: Fire Fighter Job! But Reid pronounces "Fire Fighter" as "Fighter Fighter," so that's what is printed on his Birth Certificate: Fighter Fighter Job. I take these things a bit too seriously, since I still have my Cabbage Patch Dolls' birth certificates. But I took a few deep, cleansing breaths, and I'm feeling better now.

We had a really fun New Year's celebration last night, just us - and yes, we made it until midnight. Well, 5 of the 6 of us did. One little girl tried to see whether Daddy really meant it when he told her to use her make-up kit in the bathroom or at the table, not on the carpet. She ignored him entirely, and then reacted poorly when corrected, so she ended up in bed around 11.
Last year, we had a house full of adults, playing games and telling stories until way past midnight, and were hoping to do it again, but then neither Eric's family nor Michelle's family were able to make it, so it was just us, but it ended up being really nice. :)

I didn't take any pictures, so I don't have any, but maybe I'll post some from my mom's computer one of these days. :)
Happy New Year!

Pictures

2010-12-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm at Mom's house, looking through her pictures. Here are a few good ones...

My cute baby

Our Thanksgiving table... My mom and brother and sister, and all their spouses and kids, and my sis-in-law's awesome parents. If I counted right, I think we had 16 people.
**Updated to say - make that 18 people!**

Lily :)

Some of our attempts at a Christmas picture

No fair

2010-12-16T12:28:00.000-08:00

This is the amount of cuteness I have to deal with day in and day out. How can I be expected to do anything but pinch these cheeks? I'm weak... the cuteness is overwhelming... drowning in adorableness...

2010-12-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

We've had some rough nights lately, with coughing and earaches and crying and a 3 am trip to the store for a different kind of medicine. Those rough nights have resulted in rough days. I'm so exhausted, I hardly get anything done. The kids are so cranky, we have huge explosions over trivial issues. The house is a wreck. I'm not finished with my Christmas shopping.
But I can't stop thinking about how blessed we are, how happy we are, and how thankful I am. My kids are amazing. I stare in wonderment at the ones who came from my body, and try to figure out how such glorious creatures were created from the two of us. I stare in wonderment at the one who came to us from across the globe, and try to figure out how such a glorious creature came from so much suffering, trauma, and hardship. And then I wonder why God has chosen to entrust these amazing gifts to us. We are so blessed.
This life growing inside of me is just as precious as these lives before me, and we are about to be richly, richly gifted by our Creator once again. Our lives are about to change, and once again, we will not be able to imagine life without this new baby girl.
It's amazing to me that God gives us the ability to make new life, and that He allows us to raise these innocent, dependent, precious little people.
It's probably partly the pregnancy hormones, but these thoughts are with me constantly lately, and tears come to my eyes, thinking of how much we have been given. We are undeserving. We are unqualified. And yet He blesses us. It's beyond comprehension. I can't wait to meet my newest daughter - my newest gift of love from my Creator.
I'm so stinking happy.

Decorating the tree

2010-12-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

The kids all happened to be dressed up in costumes when we started decorating the tree. :)

Lily, dressed as Flash, hanging her Flash ornament :)

Reid was very careful and deliberate with hanging each ornament

Ruby's Christmas play

2010-12-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

Ruby was in the children's Christmas musical this year. The twins are still too young, but can't WAIT to join her next year.
When it came time for auditions and parts to be assigned, Ruby had no interest in trying out. Way too scary. The next week, one of the teachers pulled Ruby aside and asked her if she would consider playing the part of Mary. There were no lines or solos. She just had to sit at the front of the stage during one of the final songs, with all the kids surrounding her, while she holds Baby Jesus. She was thrilled. So was I! It was a perfect part for Ruby! She did such a great job, and got SO many compliments.
I took a few pictures, and we hope to get a video of the play soon. :)

Pictures

2010-12-03T16:35:00.000-08:00

Michelle just emailed me these pictures of my oldest and youngest. :)

Depraved Indifference

2010-12-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

This is so, so, so freaking good...

Pray for this darling boy...

2010-11-17T09:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh. I was innocently looking at Facebook when I feel like I got punched in the gut. Man alive. I can't stop crying...
Please pray for a little baby named Anton, who is in desperate need of a loving family where his medical needs can be met. Until he is adopted, his life is confined to a crib in Russia, where he rarely gets touched or held. HelpAnton.org

2010-11-15T22:17:00.000-08:00

I just went to check on the kids before I climb into bed, and these two were holding hands. :) So cute!

Claire

2010-11-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

Claire has so many people in her life who love her, and boy does she love them back. When Grandma stops by for a bit, Claire clings to her and begs to go home with her. And sometimes she gets to. :) When Auntie comes over, Claire lights up and begs to be held, even if Auntie already has her hands full with Baby Mia. She snuggles up to her Auntie, resting her cheek on Auntie's shoulder, and just stays like that for a very, very long time.
One of the cutest things she does is grab the face of the person she's adoring and smile into their eyes. I rarely get such special treatment, but I love watching it. :)
But for all the people Claire loves, Daddy is her number one love. I'm not exaggerating when I say he is her favorite person in the whole world. Her favorite word is, "Da-da." She says it all the time. When we've been at Mama's house and we're driving home in the evenings, as soon as we turn onto our street, she'll start calling for him. "Daaaa-daaaa..." We often walk to the end of our street and watch for Donnie to come home from work. Claire LOVES this. Every time she thinks she sees him, she yells excitedly and waves.
He's been home a lot recently, because he had some vacation time to use before he lost it, so she got used to having Daddy around all the time. After he went back to work, she would wake up in the morning, excitedly kicking the covers off, saying, "Da-da! Da-da!" I'd have to explain to her that Daddy had to go back to work. Fortunately, she took the news well. If she'd cried, I might have cried too. Her devotion to him is SO cute.
She hasn't been feeling well lately, and when she doesn't feel well, she needs him all the more. Today she cried the entire time he was in the shower, even as I held and rocked her. When he was dressed, he took her from me and she rested on him immediately, snuggling into his chest and closing her eyes.
They're both resting now. She's been so cranky, he doesn't dare put her down. I think they're so cute. :)

My puppy

2010-11-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

Claire does the cutest puppy impression in the whole world. I love, love, love this puppy!!!!

Cool band

2010-11-10T16:48:00.000-08:00

The kids spent the night at Grandma's house, along with Joshua, and ended up forming a rock band. They put on many super-cool performances for Papa. Can you spot Grandma in there, behind the cool sunglasses, glamorous hat, and fancy lipstick? :)

Too cute

2010-11-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

Math class

2010-11-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

With their friends at Grandma's house

2010-11-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

More Claire

2010-11-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

Boy, does she love that baby.

Claire LOVES her baby cousin, Mia

2010-11-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

these are a couple months old, but worth posting...

2010-11-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

The truth about homework

2010-10-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Something I read on another blog...
From Alfie Kohn's article, "The Truth About Homework", Education Week, Sept. 6, 2006:
"There's something perversely fascinating about educational policies that are clearly at odds with the available data. Homework continues to be assigned - in ever greater quantities - despite the absence of evidence that it's necessary or even helpful in most cases.

Decades of investigation have failed to turn up any evidence that homework is beneficial for students in elementary school. Even if you regard standardized test results as a useful measure homework isn't even correlated with higher scores at these ages.

The only effect that does show up is more negative attitudes on the part of the students. . ."

Silly kid video

2010-10-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

The kids were playing with my camera the other day and made some videos. The house is a huge mess and the kids are a bit wound up, but I just think this one is kinda funny. I was putting Claire down for a nap and Donnie was barbecuing at the time.
(Ruby is so patient with her sister.) :)

My girlies

2010-10-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

Awww...

Measurements

2010-10-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

These three really are my little triplets. :) I just weighed them, and they all 3 come within a couple pounds of each other. Here are the weights:
Reid - 38.5
Ruby - 39.2
Lily - 40.6

I also weighed and measured Claire yesterday, and at 16 months, she's smaller than both twins were at 15 months. People always comment on how petite she is, and I guess she really is little. She's 21 pounds and 29.5 inches - somewhere around the 10th-20th percentile.

Pumpkin patch

2010-10-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

On the little train ride

On the paddle boat ride

Baby in the bath

2010-10-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

School

2010-10-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ugh. So, our wonderful school experience is wearing on me a little, and I'm wondering if it's really all that wonderful. The kids still love it, but... some of the other kids - gosh! They can be so mean! There's this one boy who talks loudly about cooties and not wanting to sit next to girls, and who can't seem to stop himself from constantly interrupting during circle time. Today, he loudly called out Lily, in front of everyone, for copying his creation. She was sitting right next to him, and yes, she did make the same thing he made, but for some reason he felt offended by it and LOUDLY told on her, criticizing her version of his creation in the mean time. It was awful. She looked so embarrassed.
Then during lunch, this girl got up from the table (at which my 3 kids were sitting, along with a couple other kids) and loudly announced that she needed another table to sit at, because she just couldn't stand to be around so much non-organic food! WHAT? My kids were eating things like cheese and yogurt and crackers and apples and bananas. I didn't see the other two kids' lunches, but what a little snob.
I hate the thought of anyone making my kids feel like dirt. I know it's a life lesson, and we can talk later about how rude that comment was, and how people should consider others' feelings before they say things, blah blah blah, but the bottom line is that if my kids begin to doubt their creativity or food choices or anything else, because of some rude little brat, is it worth it?
My kids are respectful and sweet and non-judgmental. I hate the thought of them developing this attitude that some of these kids have. But then I wonder if I'm trying to shelter them too much. What is sheltering too much, anyway?
Some really cool things are happening in these classes too, like Reid is talking in class! (This has never, ever happened before, even at church.) He raises his hand and contributes to the topic at hand. He is confident in himself and comfortable and engaged! All three of them are always excited about attending classes. Also, the field trips we've been on have been great!
So we'll stick it out for the term, at least, and then I'll reassess.

Updates

2010-10-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

A few things...

I met a lady at church today who used to read this blog a couple years ago, when we were in the process of adopting Ruby. She said she actually lived in a different state at the time, and now lives here, and is a member at our church! Weird coincidence.

We got another $100 donation to our adoption fund!!!!!!! I am so, so, so overwhelmed by the generosity of people. Thank you so much!!!!!!

We've run into a stumbling block in the adoption, and at this point, we're just praying and waiting. The pregnancy seems to be a bit of a problem. I've been strongly discouraged from trying to adopt while visibly pregnant or with an infant, because the judge would most likely question our ability to raise a new child with disabilities when we have a brand new baby.
The choices we have are either to wait a little while, and plan to travel when the baby is old enough to be left with my mom, or to adopt from a different country, where the restrictions are lighter. Right now we're in pause mode. Waiting a little longer would give us more time to fund-raise and, well, have a baby, but still, it's frustrating and disappointing and confusing. We have faith that it will be made clear in the end, though. We're still totally committed to adopting. And although we're disappointed in the delay, we can't imagine a more blessed stumbling block than a new baby. We're so, so lucky.

I think that's all the updates I have for now. We are thoroughly enjoying the school year so far. Their classes are going great, the lessons at home are still coming along well, and I just signed them up for a gymnastics class, also. The kids were telling me that they miss the physical classes they used to take, and then I came across a great group of homeschoolers taking classes at a local gym. They had their first class on Friday and by the end, they were all sweaty and happy and excited for next week!
Claire is, of course, still the cutest baby on the block, and absolutely adored by us all.
Baby in my belly is kicking away, and we can't wait to meet her. :)
And I think that about covers it.

New research supports gentle parenting

2010-09-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

Science Daily recently reported on new research out of Notre Dame, showing a link between moral development and early child-rearing practices. Because I love this stuff, I'm pasting the article below:

Three new studies led by Notre Dame Psychology Professor Darcia Narvaez show a relationship between child rearing practices common in foraging hunter-gatherer societies (how we humans have spent about 99 percent of our history) and better mental health, greater empathy and conscience development, and higher intelligence in children.

"Our research shows that the roots of moral functioning form early in life, in infancy, and depend on the affective quality of family and community support," says Narvaez, who specializes in the moral and character development of children.

The three studies include an observational study of the practices of parents of three-year-olds, a longitudinal study of how certain child rearing practices relate to child outcomes in a national child abuse prevention project, and a comparison study of parenting practices between mothers in the U.S. and China. The longitudinal study examined data from the research of another Notre Dame psychologist, John Borkowski, who specializes in the impact of child abuse and neglect on development.

The results of Narvaez' three studies as well as those from researchers around the world will be presented at a conference at Notre Dame in October titled "Human Nature and Early Experience: Addressing the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness."

"The way we raise our children today in this country is increasingly depriving them of the practices that lead to well being and a moral sense," she says.

Narvaez identifies six characteristics of child rearing that were common to our distant ancestors:

Lots of positive touch -- as in no spanking -- but nearly constant carrying, cuddling and holding;
Prompt response to baby's fusses and cries. You can't "spoil" a baby. This means meeting a child's needs before they get upset and the brain is flooded with toxic chemicals. "Warm, responsive caregiving like this keeps the infant's brain calm in the years it is forming its personality and response to the world," Narvaez says.
Breastfeeding, ideally 2 to 5 years. A child's immune system isn't fully formed until age 6 and breast milk provides its building blocks.
Multiple adult caregivers -- people beyond mom and dad who also love the child.
Free play with multi-age playmates. Studies show that kids who don't play enough are more likely to have ADHD and other mental health issues.
Natural childbirth, which provides mothers with the hormone boosts that give the energy to care for a newborn.

The U.S. has been on a downward trajectory on all of these care characteristics, according to Narvaez. Instead of being held, infants spend much more time in carriers, car seats and strollers than they did in the past. Only about 15 percent of mothers are breastfeeding at all by 12 months, extended families are broken up, and free play allowed by parents has decreased dramatically since 1970.

"Ill advised practices and beliefs have become commonplace, such as the use of infant formula, the isolation of infants in their own rooms, or the belief that responding too quickly to a fussing baby will 'spoil' it," Narvaez says.

Whether the corollary to these modern practices or the result of other forces, research shows the health and well being of American children is worse than it was 50 years ago: there's an epidemic of anxiety and depression among the young; aggressive behavior and delinquency rates in young children are rising; and empathy, the backbone of compassionate, moral behavior, has been shown to be decreasing among college students.

"All of these issues are of concern to me as a researcher of moral development," Narvaez says. "Kids who don't get the emotional nurturing they need in early life tend to be more self-centered. They don't have available the compassion-related emotions to the same degree as kids who were raised by warm, responsive families."

The baby in my belly

2010-09-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

We had the ultrasound today. Donnie took the day off and we went swimming at the pool this morning (for an hour and a half - we're all exhausted tonight). The three big kids went with us to the appointment.
So... we know what we're having...
...and...
...it's a good thing Reid has his best friend, Joshua, and sisters who enjoy all things Superhero, X-Men, video games, Star Wars, and rough-housing, because he's not getting a brother just yet.
We're having girl number FOUR!!!

School

2010-09-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

We've just begun our second week of school, and we went on our first field trip on Monday! We went to Sweet Tomatoes and got a tour of the restaurant, including the kitchen, learned a little about their business, and got to make some pizzas, and then eat at their buffet! It was way cool.
I LOVE their Math class. I think it's my favorite of the classes their taking. The teacher is very quiet and gentle, and I think Reid is feeling comfortable already. She starts the class by introducing a topic (like today was sets and patterns), and they do some work together as a group. Then she sets out a bunch of different materials around the room, and the rest of the class time is spent working individually on the different materials. Some parents attend with their children, some don't. Some are very hands-on with their kids, and some hang back. I attend every class, but I try to sit in the back corner of the room unless it looks like my kids need some help.
Tomorrow we'll go to Science class, and on Thursday, we go to a bigger class that's a lot longer than the others, and it has some of the popular aspects of school, like circle time, story time, lunch, recess, show and tell, and crafts. My reason for signing them up for that class is that I want them to be able to feel like they belong to a classroom community. It's a cute class. I hung out last time and plan to continue doing so, but I hang back almost the whole time so they can socialize, and it gets pretty boring, so maybe this time I'll bring a book. :)
(Claire gets some individual time with Grandma while we're at school - or, if Mom doesn't have kids in the morning, she attends the classes with us and we take turns chasing after Claire).
At home, we do Spanish (we're loving Rosetta Stone!), cursive, English, and more math. I haven't timed it, but I don't think it ever takes more than an hour. It really helps that they're all doing basically the same work. :) Sometimes if I'm crunched for time or energy, we take our schoolwork over to Grandma's house, and Mom is always eager to help.
Okay, Claire's bugging me to pay attention to her. Gotta go...

First day of school

2010-09-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day of school!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, I was so nervous. All three kids were fine. Excited. So not nervous. But I was a wreck.
It went great! I am so impressed with the quality of the teaching and the materials.
Anyway, we can't wait to go again tomorrow! Yay!

Blog recommendation

2010-09-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

I've been following this blog for a while, and watched the drama unfold as this family nearly lost in the adoption proceedings to save their son from an institution. I am overjoyed and amazed at the decision of the court to rule in their favor.
I really liked their Perry Mason post, and I think it's worth the time to read the older posts and get to know them and precious Aaron. :) Happy reading!

All ready for school

2010-09-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

All our friends and family have started school already, but we don't start until next week. This year, we're attending school 3 days/week at a homeschool/private school, with accredited teachers and where parents attend classes with their children. I'm really excited to get started!
On the days we don't attend school, I have some schoolish things for the kids to do. We did our first "school" day today. It took about 45 minutes. :) I'll probably add more things as I think of them, but they do so much learning on their own, I don't really feel the need to "teach" them very much, at least not at this age. One thing we are doing is Rosetta Stone. We're now officially taking Spanish. The kids already know a lot of words in Spanish, but the Rosetta Stone curriculum is new and different and fun, and should be able to give them a bigger vocabulary than I can.
We already have a bunch of field trips planned with our new school. Through the school, we can get into a lot of activities we couldn't otherwise, and for really cheap! In the next couple weeks, we're touring an historic firehouse, and getting a behind-the-scenes look at the running of a restaurant.
Our other field trips scheduled so far include a visit to a pumpkin patch, a trip to explore nature in a wetlands area, an Oregon Symphony production, and a show at a puppet theater.
Today I gave Reid a haircut so he'll look nice and spiffy for school. I also got out all their fall clothes and put away the summer stuff. I'm so excited!!!

This face

2010-09-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

I cannot get enough of this baby's face! :)

Mia Genevieve Mitchell

2010-09-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

Baby Mia came at 8:13 last night! She's gorgeous. 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Mom and I both got to be in there and see her be born. She has a big, loud voice, and nurses like a champ.
Michelle did it all without an epidural. Next time I have a baby, I want to do it like Michelle did. Quiet, dignified, calm... :) She was amazing!

A couple things...

2010-09-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, first of all, a week has passed since Michelle's due date, and we're all eagerly awaiting that baby girl! I got to go to an ultrasound this morning to check fluid levels, baby heart rate, placenta, etc, and that baby is adorable! She looks a lot like Joshua, with full lips and big feet. :) She was really active. It was awesome.
Michelle is finally having some real contractions today, so we're all hoping this is finally it!

Also, I just couldn't help sharing this link to a website I just came across that does a really good job of explaining Biblical discipline, and the contextual meaning of the word "rod." :)

Barefoot!

2010-08-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

I read once when the twins were babies, that it's best for baby's feet to be unencumbered by shoes when learning to walk. So I bought them Robeez, and that's all I would put on them for the first couple years. Claire is always either barefoot or in Robeez. The big kids wear regular shoes now, but I'm still pretty picky about sole flexibility and practicality (ease of running, etc.)
But Lily has always been somewhat of a barefooter, especially lately. She's actually coming back from it a little. There's one pair of flip flops she'll always agree to wear.
But the other day, I came across this group of people who call themselves "Barefooters." They have a website with all kinds of research and information about the health benefits and legalities of barefooting it. I found the medical research fascinating and compelling.
The commentary on the medical studies make claims like, "These figures prove that restrictive footgear, particularly ill-fitting footgear, cause most of the ailments of the human foot." And, "Shoes are not necessary for healthy feet and are the cause of most foot troubles. Children should not be encouraged to walk prematurely and should not wear any footwear until absolutely necessary. Footgear is the greatest enemy of the human foot." One more: "The best lateral stability can be observed in the barefoot condition." Foot health, as well as balance and stability, are improved without shoes. Huh...
I also came across a letter to Whole Foods, encouraging them to change their policy against bare feet. (That policy has since changed.) Part of the letter stated, "Your new sign states hygiene as one of the reasons for the policy, but there is simply no hygiene issue involved. Our children's feet are only touching the floor, just like the bottoms of shoes. Bare feet are no dirtier than the bottoms of shoes; in fact feet are cleaner than shoes because they are washed more often. Hands touch various potentially germ-ridden surfaces all day, and yet you do not require gloves to be worn in your store. In Oregon (and most other states) there is no health code requiring footwear in restaurants or grocery stores." I looked it up, and it's true - there are no health codes requiring footwear in restaurants or stores!
But one can't always go around barefoot. Shoes are sometimes necessary. (for me, at least). There's a company that makes shoes that give the protection of a shoe, with all the benefits of going barefoot. The shoes are expensive, but I found a 30% off code online, and I'm giving it some thought while I do a little more research. In the mean time, I'm certainly not going to try to discourage Lily away from her barefooted ways. She's gone lots of places barefoot this summer - from the grocery store to church - and I always cringe, but I think I'll try to embrace it. :)

Adoption funds

2010-08-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

I wish I could change the number on that little thing on the side-bar, because it doesn't reflect all the money we've collected for the adoption. I've sold a couple things, which have come to $385.09, Donnie got $100 in cash for his birthday, and Donnie JUST SOLD OUR CAR!!!!! We've been trying to sell this car since we got our van, but haven't been having much luck. Donnie just got done signing the deal, and we made $5,500!
So that number to the right there should say...
$6,835.09
We're on our way... :)

Her new look

2010-08-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

Lily had to get her tooth pulled the other day. I was really dreading it. I asked the dentist if it was really necessary. The tooth looked so much better than a couple weeks ago. But Lily had her heart set on it. She was looking forward to getting a dollar from the tooth fairy. The dentist also thought it prudent, since the chance of it getting re-infected was up around 70%.
I'm getting used to her new look. I think it's kinda cute.

2010-08-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

Life is back to normal now. Everyone's recovered and Donnie had a really nice birthday. The kids got him presents from the Dollar Tree: a flashlight from Ruby, a basket of sea shells from Lily, and Superhero band-aids and a Spiderman magic towel from Reid. :)
My family wanted birthday gift ideas for Donnie, but he said what he'd really like is donations to the adoption fund. He ended up receiving $300 in donations!!!!!!!! Wow!

I just got done signing the kids up for classes with our new home-school community. I'm really excited!!! We're going to be attending classes 3 days/week and attending a bunch of really cool field trips!
I LOVE homeschooling, but I miss the sense of community and opportunities that school offers, so this is perfect! I'll be attending all the classes and field trips with the kids, so it takes some of the curriculum burden off me while I still get to be 100% present and involved, and the kids get all the perks that community provides! :) We can't wait to get started!

What we've been up to

2010-08-08T13:46:00.000-07:00

The kids are back in my arms, and it's so nice to have them home! I had a really nice time with Claire and it felt like we maybe bonded a little deeper, just the two of us, those days the kids were off having all kinds of fun with Mama and Papa. They had SUCH a good time, and so did Mama and Papa. They're already dreaming of another trip. :)

While on the trip, Lily jumped, tripped, and banged the heck out of her two front teeth. This is probably the 5th time she's hit her mouth. She's both fearless and clumsy, which is a dangerous combo. :) Those teeth were already grey in color from previous trauma. Now, one of them is loose. Great.

The day after they got back, dinner was being prepared, and Lily wanted to help. But she was overtired and really hungry, and was being uncooperative and difficult. So we turned off the burner and told her she could help as soon as she calmed down and could talk instead of screaming. She waited until our backs were turned, and pushed a chair up to the stove and tried to reach to the back of the stove to turn the burner back on. (I never dreamed she would try something like that. She's never done that before.) The chair ended up slipping out from under her and she and the scalding water came crashing down. She has 2nd degree burns over her tummy and down one leg.

We took a ride in an ambulance and spent 2 days in the burn unit.

The next night, while I was home with Reid and Claire (Ruby stayed with Grandma, and Donnie was at the hospital with Lily), Reid woke up and threw up all over my bed. We all moved to his bed where he ended up throwing up again all over that bed and all over Claire... We didn't get much sleep that night.

Lily got to go home that day, but as I was unbuckling her as soon as we got home, I noticed her tooth was looking really bad - there was a bump in the gums above the tooth. I took her to the dentist who put her on antibiotics and said the tooth will have to be pulled pretty soon.

So that's why I haven't been blogging lately.

Everyone is doing really well now. Lily's still in bandages and has another dr. appt. tomorrow, but she has minimal pain and is in high spirits. Reid's stomach bug ended as quickly and mysteriously as it began, and nobody else has gotten sick. Lily's tooth looks really good.

Today we're celebrating Donnie's and my brother's birthdays, which are 5 days apart. It's been quite a week, but we've been having a really good weekend. :)

2010-07-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

We spend our evenings adoring this little one, and marveling at how fast they grow. We're not ready for the baby stage to end. Good thing we have another one on the horizon. :)

Here's our attempt at a pic of all 3 of us... Look at those beautiful eyes on the bottom!

2010-07-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

The first night the kids were gone, I couldn't sleep and then I cried all morning. But my mom is doing such a good job of keeping me in touch, I feel like I'm there. I call several times a day, and she calls me several times a day. Right now, she and Tom are at Walmart with 7 kids, ages 4-10, I believe. The kids are having a great time getting to know their cousins. (Tom's grandkids are also Donnie's cousins' kids...)
Claire and I are having such a nice time. I took her to the pool at the rec center today, where Claire was fearless and insane in the water. She must have gone all the way under two dozen times, but it didn't phase her. She just kept going for over an hour before it was time to go. We came home and had lunch and now she's taking a really long nap. :)

2010-07-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

On the adoption front, the urgent situation we were praying about has been resolved, and one more little boy now has a family! :) Our prayers have been answered, and we now feel confident in the direction we're going. We're excited!

On the home front, I'm sitting at the computer right now with the radio on and the washer and dryer both running in the background, but beyond that, it's silent... No kids. The baby's napping, but the big kids are gone on a road trip - for the next 5 days!
My mom and Tom are taking a trip to Montana to visit Bailey and Caity (from Mom's childcare, who recently moved away) and to visit Tom's family. They borrowed a camper from a family friend and invited my kids to come along. Actually, they would have liked to take all the grandkids, but some were too young and some were unavailable. :)
We had a really fun church event last night that I got to attend with the kids before they took off. They were SO excited to go see the girls, and see Papa's family, and spend 5 nights in the super duper cool "truck with a house that you can drive."
I'm so excited for them, but also a bit lonely. It's just me and baby while Donnie's at work. I've never had just one kid before! But baby and I have been having a really nice time together. She's so, so stinking cute! I thought she'd be cranky without her big siblings here, but she's been happy and funny all day. We took a nice, leisurely trip to the grocery store today. I think she's enjoying having my full attention, and I'm enjoying having her adorableness to giggle over while I miss my bigger kids.

I'm about to make dinner for my hubby, and looking forward to a quiet evening. :) One day down, four to go...

Wow, wow, wow!!!

2010-07-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, wow. So much has been happening the last few days, and between doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and social worker meetings, I haven't had any time to update my blog!
There's this amazing mom I know through Acres of Hope (the agency through which we adopted Ruby). Her name is Jenny Groothuis, and she is mommy to 7 biological kids and 7 Liberian kids! I subscribe to her emails through her Yahoo group. She sends occasional updates about her family and what's happening over there, and her perspective and experiences are inspirational. She was terrific in helping me through a dark time I was going through with Ruby's attachment. Anyway, her most recent update was about our adoption, encouraging people to visit our blog and help out financially. We've received two generous donations since then - one for $500 and one for $100!!! I am so, so humbled. Wow...
I had another meeting with the social worker, and she's given us approval for however severe of a special need we believe we can handle. We're still feeling drawn to the first boy who caught our eye, whose needs are less severe, but there's a possibility that another family may be able to adopt him, and we've been made aware of another urgent situation, so we're praying about which direction we should go.
Please pray for God to show us clearly which way to go. :)
Thank you!!!!!

Progress

2010-07-19T18:31:00.000-07:00

The social worker came to the house last week for our in-home visit/inspection! I emailed her beforehand and told her about the pregnancy. I told her we're looking at a total of 6 kids in a 3-bedroom, 1500 square-foot house. Still, she came, met the kids (who were all adorably charming and friendly), met the pets, took a tour, asked some questions, and then gave us the green light!!!!!
So we wrote out another check, promised to send in the rest of the documentation, and she was on her way.
I woke up that night in a panic - what are we doing????? I'm mostly panicking over the idea of leaving Claire to go to another country. I'm also panicking over the timing - can we pull this off quickly enough for me to still be able to travel, or will we have to wait until after the baby is born? I couldn't fall asleep. My heart was pounding and I was suddenly wide awake. So I got up and looked at the Reece's Rainbow website, and scrolled through those little faces, destined for institutions. I felt comforted quickly.
The message at church on Sunday was absolutely perfect. I can't remember the words right, to say it correctly here. I keep trying to write it out, and it always never sounds as good as Joel said it. But basically, it was like this: Jesus' message was unique. Christianity is profound. Let us stop living as if Christianity has a moderate impact on our lives, and allow Him to change every single minute detail of our lives and beings.
So as we pursue this adoption, not knowing where the funds will come from, whether it will be complete before the baby comes, wondering whether Claire will be okay without me, whether she will be weaned by then, how the kids will accept the newest member of our family, etc, etc, etc... I was reminded once again that we are not living our lives according to our own best judgment, desires, fears and abilities, but as disciples of Christ, according to His judgment, strength, and abilities. Phew!

What we've been up to lately

2010-07-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

Whew... I haven't given this blog any time or attention for the longest time. We've really been enjoying our summer though. Mom has her pool up now, and my kids are little fish! :) They love swimming. We're also taking nature classes every Thursday. That's been a lot of fun.
So far, this pregnancy has not been nearly as hard as Claire's. I have some tiredness and some indigestion, but that's about it.
The kids are SO excited about this pregnancy. We have so much else going on that I really never bring it up to them about it. I don't even think about it that much. But they mention it daily! They are all so thrilled. They tell us they can't wait to hold this new baby and they love it and it's going to be so cute and it's going to be friends with Claire, and on and on. They spread the news with excitement, "My mommy has a new baby in her tummy!!!" We all adore Claire so much. She's like a celebrity around here. When she wakes up for a nap, whoever heard her first makes the announcement, and we all race in and climb on the bed and hang out with her for a little while. They're all outside right now, and Ruby keeps coming in and telling me cute things that Claire is doing. They adore, adore, adore this baby, and are so thrilled about another one. :) Yay! :)
We have our first home-study visit tomorrow night, and I'm sitting in a messy house, typing, because I have major avoidance/procrastination issues.
We're trying to sell the Lexus we've been leasing through Donnie's work (he works at Lexus, and gets a great deal!), and we hope to get $4000 out of that for adoption costs. I also finally sold this stroller I have and got $300 for that, so we're ready to roll with the homestudy and committing to a child!

2010-07-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

I just looked up one of those pregnancy calculator things, because I can't keep track of how far along I am in this pregnancy.
I learned that my baby is about the size of a blueberry. :) It's AMAZING to me, how fast development occurs. It surprises me every time I'm pregnant and look up this stuff. My baby has been in existence for a total of 5 weeks now, and already looks like a teeny-tiny person! AMAZING! Last week, at the ultrasound, I SAW its heart beating! One month old, and already it had a functioning, beating heart. Wow.
Here's a pretty cool picture.

Unfortunately, while looking up images of what my baby looks like right now, I accidentally came across some HORRIFYING pictures of aborted fetuses. Oh my gosh! I can't believe the barbaric horrors and atrocities that we commit against children, babies, and the unborn in the name of convenience. This is 2010. It's hard to believe this stuff still goes on in such a civilized age. We turn away and choose not to think about it, but these things go on every single day. So, so, so sad.....
I'm feeling so very blessed and thankful for my precious children.

We have a due date!!!

2010-06-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I had my ultrasound today.
First, it's just one baby! :) No twins.
Second, I'm just 5 weeks, 6 days along! I must have taken that pregnancy test right at the 4 week mark. So, so crazy! I was so sure I felt movement, but it must have just been a little heavenly nudge to let me know something was up. 'Cause there's no way that teeny-tiny baby-bean was kicking me!
I hadn't taken a pregnancy test in a couple months, and then I took one at just the right moment, as soon as the pregnancy was detectable... So cool!
So, I'm really, really glad! I'm glad I didn't miss out on the first trimester (although that means the symptoms should kick in soon!) and I'm glad I know so I can be careful about what I eat, etc. I'm also glad for the later due date, so that hopefully it doesn't mess up our adoption travel plans.
My due date is February 17!
YAY!!!

A peek inside an orphanage

2010-06-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Here's a post about life inside one of the orphanages we are hoping to adopt from.

Coffee fundraiser

2010-06-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

We're selling coffee to raise funds for our adoption! Order online!

2010-06-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I keep seeking out more information on the atrocities happening to these children across the world. I know it's happening, and I'm working on getting the word out and saving at least one life. But sometimes I forget for a moment. I get caught up in my own life, my own kids, my own troubles, and I forget. So maybe I keep reading more and more so that it's burned so deep in my heart that I can't forget.

I'm reading The Boy From Baby House 10, a book written by a man who was adopted from one of the orphanages like we are adopting from. I've only just started it, and I had to put it down. I'm not ready to pick it up again. What I read was so, so sad. It starts out with his life in the orphanage, before he's transferred to the asylum, where his life gets much worse. I've only read about life in the Baby House (orphanage) so far, and it was horrible. I don't know if I'll be able to finish it.

This morning, I came across an article written a few years ago, by someone who was in a group who went to Ukraine to do volunteer work. They visited one of the asylums, and this is their account of what they saw:

"When we arrived at the orphanage we were met by older children without coats, they were begging us to give things to them and not to the directors. It is very hard to write about the rest of this part of the trip. I cannot give a step by step account because we were all in a state of shock. We spoke to the director about our program and he told us that he knows the children need more but he said, "I cannot ask my workers to do more, they work very hard, clearing the road, shoveling snow, cleaning the floors and the children, they have not time, they must work very hard all day and then they must dig graves and bury children." What do you say to that?

"Still, the staff took us around to show us how it is. Words don't come to mind, most of our team was crying and could not stop. Dark hallways, screaming, children clustered together in freezing rooms, some in strait-jackets, haunted looking crying, asking if they were good, asking for food. Water dripping from the dark ceilings, mold everywhere. We held children who were 10 and 13 years old in our arms like infants. One team member said later that she never knew that humans are like fish and will only grow to the size of their environment. One team member threw up outside. Children never leave their beds in some rooms. These children are ages 4-16. In other rooms they leave to go to a room with just a bench and nothing else in it. They hold each other -rocking one another. I have never seen such deprivation and our photographer said it best when he said it was a concentration camp for children.

"Sorry, this is such a hard part to write but I looked in the eyes of many children who are dying. Their tiny bones fit into the palm of my hands. Their skeleton faces begging for help. No one in our team has really slept since. We talk about it but just end up in tears. I promised the orphanage staff we would come back with a team of people to help them. They are counting on it. The director told one team member that 20 years ago he asked for help there and the soviet minister came and visited. The visiting soviet minister told the director, 'why do you keep these animals alive? You can kill them, you know how to do it you are a doctor.' He never sent any money or aid to the orphanage."

2010-06-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

I had my nurse intake appt today. They took my info and my bodily fluids, but didn't give me much in return. She tried to find a heartbeat, but no such luck. She said that could mean I'm less than 12 weeks along, which would mean the movement I felt probably wasn't really the baby. (It sure felt like a baby, but I haven't felt it again since!) Or it could just be that we were unlucky in finding the heartbeat this time. So, basically, we don't really know anything more than we knew before.
I have an appointment for an ultrasound, though! It's one week from today.
Anyone want to take a guess as to when my due date will be?
To help me pass the time, I'm putting a little poll on the sidebar. :)

2010-06-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

I just took my third pregnancy test. I guess I'm still in denial a little bit. :)
I keep thinking, what if nursing Claire, combined with thinking about adoption, somehow created a pregnancy horomone, and that's what it's picking up? What if I'm just like Mr. Schuster's wife? (You know, from Glee? The hysterical pregnancy? Don't you just LOVE that show?)
I keep trying to feel the baby again, but I now I don't know what I'm feeling, and I wonder if I imagined it.
How embarrassing would that be? Announcing you're pregnant to the world, and then it turns out you just imagined it all?
Everything I read says that if I did feel the baby move, I'm likely in the second trimester. It's hard to imagine that I had so few symptoms that I missed the whole first trimester! I barely survived those months with the first two pregnancies!

So I took another test, and for the third time, it was positive. I watched the lines show up simultaneously. It didn't even hesitate or take time to think about it.
My first appointment is called a "nurse intake appointment," which I'm guessing just means paperwork and bloodwork and stuff. I'm hoping to be able to hear a heartbeat! Then I see a midwife 2 weeks from today. Hopefully they'll be able to do an ultrasound and give me a due date at that appointment.
When I do allow myself to really believe that this is real, I am over-the-moon excited! I'm giddy, just thinking about it. A baby!!!!!!! :) I get to give birth again! This is the best thing that could ever happen, in my opinion. I'm one lucky girl. Or a seriously crazy one. So crazy I've imagined all of this and convinced a pee-stick to believe me. :)

Graphic images

2010-06-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

I don't even want my kids to see these pictures.
These children are living an existence too graphic for my children to see.

They are kept n these cages all day, every day. They are tied down or straight-jacketed so they won't cause physical harm to themselves for stimulation.

Adoption isn't the answer to the societal/political problems that create this in the first place. Adoption is only one answer for one child at a time.
"Adopting one child won't change the world, but for that one child, the whole world will change!"

2010-06-12T19:37:00.001-07:00

If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? - T.S. Elliot/Barlow

SURPRISE!

2010-06-11T17:44:00.000-07:00

WHAT???
Is that what I think it is???
Crazy. This is crazy.

I woke up this morning and was lying there, trying to figure out if I had to get up, or if I could keep lying there next to Claire for a little longer. But I could hear the twins' voices in the living room, so I was trying to talk myself into getting up. I rolled onto my back and yawned. And with that breath, I thought I felt a flutter in my belly. So I lay very still, breathing slowly, trying to feel it again. It happened again. It was a feeling I recognized. I decided I should get up and take a pregnancy test. The lines showed up immediately. I couldn't believe it.

Since having Claire and nursing on demand, I knew it was unlikely but still possible to get pregnant, and I spent several months hoping to get pregnant, taking tests every month or so. Then our plans changed. We began pursuing adoption.

So, wow. What does this mean? At this point, we don't see any reason to stop pursuing this adoption. We've been led this direction for a reason. Maybe that reason is so that we can save a child from an institution, or maybe that reason is that we would become advocates and raise funds and awareness for other people to adopt these children. We're really hoping to continue the adoption, but either way, we're open to His leading. So, we will pray. We will ask for direction and guidance. We'll pray for His will to be done. Children are such an amazing blessing. They are a gift, straight from Heaven. We are so, so blessed!!!

It's funny how many times in this last month that I've grieved putting off having a baby. I've cried over the pictures of babies available for adoption. I've longed for another opportunity to carry a baby in my belly, give birth, and care for a newborn. I've been working in the nursery every Sunday, and have been teased by the other women in there for my incessant enthusiasm over every baby. I want to cuddle all of them, and I can't stop talking about how cute they are. I'm afraid I might even border on annoying. A couple months ago, one woman said, "Are you ready for another one already?" I told her I'm ALWAYS ready for another one. Little did I know I was probably growing another one at that very moment.

I have to admit, my first feelings were panic and slight disappointment at the timing. But as the hours pass, and I settle into the idea of this new little one, I feel so amazingly, undeservedly blessed and loved by my God. He knows the desires of my heart and He delights in giving them to me. I want to let His will be done in my life, and to passionately pursue His leading; to follow Him to the ends of the earth, and to love Him with abandon. Because He first loved me! :)

AAACK!!!!! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Okay, and so, how far along am I, if I really did feel this baby in my tummy already? I wasn't trying to feel it. I never, ever would have suspected I was pregnant. No nausea or tiredness. Maybe some mood issues - a little irritable, a little teary, a little difficulty sleeping, but I thought that was all because of the adoption stuff. Michelle thinks I'm maybe a few months along already. I made an appointment with a midwife, but it's not for a couple weeks. I can't wait to find out! This is CRAZY!!!!!

Least of These

2010-06-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

Blah

2010-06-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

Wowee... I am having the toughest time with Ruby lately. She is testing, testing, testing!

I continuously find her getting into things. I walk into the bathroom and find her making a huge soapy, watery mess all over the counter, dripping onto the floor. Or I find her spraying my perfume on the walls. Or I realize at the end of the day that she's cut off her eyelashes. A couple weeks ago, it was a clump of her hair. Before that, she wrote on the wall. This morning, she was playing with water in the playroom. She knows that's not okay. So I tell her that it seems whenever I'm out of sight, she's getting into something. So she'd better stick close by me for the rest of the day. We're several hours into it, and she's missing out on lots of fun. She has to follow me wherever I go. She's standing next to me as I type this. But I don't have much hope that this is really getting through to her. I give consequences. I explain why her behavior is unacceptable. I tell her we need to have trust in our relationship. I need to be able to trust her to do the right thing, and she needs to trust me enough to ask permission when she thinks of something she wants to do. I've told her I'll help her find a way to do fun things. But she hasn't once come to me. She just continues doing what she wants to do.

Beyond that, she seems to be purposely avoiding doing what's expected of her. At bedtime, she might procrastinate getting her jammies on until the last minute. For a while, she was late for story time every night. At dinnertime, she's might "forget" to take her dishes to the kitchen when she's done. She won't get dressed all day long. Everyone else is dressed. She's not. She knows that she can't go to Grandma's house unless she's dressed, but this is the third day that I've left the other three with Grandma and come back home with Ruby because she wasn't dressed. She pouts over it. She LOVES playing at Grandma's house with her friends and siblings. It's no fun at home with just me.

I've been so annoyed with her lately, I feel like there's this rift between us, and maybe that's part of the reason she's acting up even more. Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

Just had to get that all out. I feel better now. :)

2010-06-09T18:08:00.001-07:00

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice." Proverbs 31:8-9

2010-06-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

"By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in Him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

Breast is Best

2010-06-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

Today, my baby turns a year old. At about this time, one year ago, I was scared out of my mind, doing a natural birth with a baby who was coming out sunny-side-up. :)

I just came across this video. It made me wish I'd been even more informed and prepared and vocal about my preferences when I'd had my babies. Skin-to-skin immediately, nursing immediately... beautiful stuff. (Sigh...) :)

Every child deserves to be loved

2010-06-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of kids on the Reece's Rainbow website that we are hoping to adopt. Neither has Down Syndrome. We are praying hard for direction. We do not have the money needed to make a formal commitment to them.

One of the children is a little 4-year-old boy who is about to age-out of the children's orphanage and be transferred to the institution. We are told that if we do commit to adopting him, we'll need to be prepared to move quickly, before he is taken from the only place he knows and transferred to the hell they call the "internat."

I just read an article about a Ukranian human-rights activist who was recently beat up and threatened for filming inside one such facility.

Another facility that has recently undergone renovation and changes, is now allowing visitors. I'm going to paste below some parts of the article:

Between thirty and thirty-five children are confined 24/7 to beds in a ward that has until recently been off-limits to visitors. Permanently institutionalized, 80% of the children here seldom see moms, dads, or relatives. For the 100 or so children who can walk, there is little in the way of planned activities or learning. None of these children, so we were told, is“educable.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Clothing is often shabby and dirty. A number of the girls have Down Syndrome; many boys here appear to have some degree of cerebral palsy or similar neurological impairment; others lack arms or legs; some appear autistic. There is no doctor in daily residence; a physician comes once a week. The bedfast children seldom, if ever, go outdoors. As a result of limited care and nutrition, the mortality rate at Kalinovka is said to be eight to ten annually.

Kalinovka was long “closed” and off limits to visitors. Until the volunteers of the Schastlivyi Rebyonok (Happy Child) charity began to visit in early 2007, it was nearly impossible to know what was going on there. Stories from persons in the surrounding villages, familiar with the internat, nonetheless painted a bleak picture—of malnourished, poorly clothed children; of gifts brought for the children disappearing, of inspectors receiving bribes to overlook glaring problems. Recent visits by Happy Child volunteers confirm these stories: staff are too few; one aide, for example, must feed thirteen or more patients, some of whom cannot easily swallow or digest normal food. As a result, the most severely disabled can die of malnutrition. Only quick intervention by Albert Pavlov of Happy Child saved five-year-old Andryusha recently from death.

The boy we want to adopt is one of those who could end up in a crib 24/7. His legs don't work. Cognitively, he is normal. He is an average 4-year-old boy, living in an orphanage, watching mommies and daddies come and take his peers to a home and a family. Soon, his life will change dramatically, when he will say goodbye to the caregivers he knows, the room he's called home for so long, and be transferred to a place that no human should ever have to endure.

Other parents who have been to these orphanages describe the reactions of the other children when they walk in to visit with the child they have chosen to adopt. The other children often reach their little arms out and ask, "Mama?" One woman describes a little girl wailing, "I want a mama, too!" These children know what a mommy is. They know they don't have one. They desperately want one. And the reality is, MOST of them will never know the love of a mommy. They cry uncomforted. They suffer alone. They have no one to turn to, who will wrap their arms around them, rock them, whisper to them, and kiss their tears away.

These are God's children, whom He loves just as much as He loves my children and your children.

Below is a poem that I resisted posting, because I find it a bit too sappy, but it gets me every time I read it, so I'm going ahead and posting it. Maybe it will speak to you.

The Waiting Child

An Adoption Poem

By Debbie Bodie

I saw you meet your child today
You kissed your baby joyfully
And as you walked away with him
I played pretend you'd chosen me.

I'm happy for the baby, yet
Inside I'm aching miserably
I want to plead as you go by,
"Does no-one want a child of three?"

I saw you meet your child today
In love with her before you met
And as I watched you take her out
I knew it wasn't my turn yet.

I recognize you from last year!
I knew I'd seen your face before!
But you came for a second babe.
Does no-one want a child of four?

I saw you meet your child today
But this time there was something new.
A nurse came in and took MY hand
And then she gave my hand to you.

Can this be true? I'm almost six!
And there are infants here, you see?
But then you kissed me and I knew
The child you picked this time was me.

2010-06-04T16:33:00.000-07:00

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish. " Mother Teresa

2010-06-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act" Proverbs 24:12

My heart

2010-06-03T15:40:00.000-07:00

I was told recently by someone close to me that I sometimes come off a bit "preachy" on this blog. I've been thinking about it today, because if I want to get my message across to people, being preachy is certainly not going to help. (And I really appreciate it when people are honest with me. I really want constructive criticism, even when it's hard to give. And this was given in love! So thank you!)
I've been trying to think of how I can soften my tone or make myself sound less... preachy. I'm not sure how to do that, except to share my heart with you all.
These pictures and videos and words I keep posting about what is happening over in other parts of the world are really hard to take. I know many of you probably aren't even clicking "Play" on those videos. I know how uncomfortable it is. If you watch them, you either have to harden your heart, or let them break you.
Well, I'm broken. I'm completely, utterly broken.
These children are suffering.
If these were MY children, who had somehow gotten stuck in an orphanage across the world, and I showed you all videos of what was happening to my sweet darlings, and quotes from people who'd seen Ruby or Lily or Reid or Claire neglected and malnourished, kept in cribs, tied down - we'd all be going crazy! We would be doing all we could, sacrificing everything we have, to save MY children.
But because they're half a world away, and we can choose not to look at them, and because they're not "ours," we sigh, and feel bad for a moment, and then go about our day.
At this point, I'm about ready to sell everything we have and fly over there and hold those kids. Rehabilitate them. Show them love.
I'm not naive enough to think love will fix everything that's been done to them, but it's a start, isn't it? Without love, none of us will be motivated enough to do anything.
We're all here for a purpose. I know my purpose. I've known my purpose for a long, long time. My passion is for children.
I'm truly sorry if I sound preachy. I'm being sincere here, not sarcastic. I really want you guys to get where I'm coming from, and I mean what I'm saying. I'm sorry if I've rubbed you the wrong way. I'm sorry if I've offended any of you. I'm sorry if I sound soap-boxy, or holier-than-thou.
I just keep thinking of every one of those boys in those orphanages as my sweet Reid or those girls as my darling Lily or Ruby or Claire, and I can't stand just sitting here, doing nothing about it. Are they any less special? Any less deserving? How can we go about our lives, as if this weren't happening?
I want to go over there and bring home one or two of those sweet children and give them the home that they deserve. That's all I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to be a hero or brave or cool. I'm just aching inside for these kids, and I want to hold them.

Bulgarian Orphan Baby Struggles On

2010-06-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

This video was made by a woman who had been involved in getting medical treatment for this little girl. When she went back later, to see how she was progressing, the little girl was even worse, due to neglect in the orphanage.
My question is, what are WE doing to prevent this kind of suffering? THESE ARE CHILDREN!!!!!!

The faces of HIV

2010-06-03T14:26:00.000-07:00